Dating as a Single Mom – Is it Hard? 3 Easy Ways to Step Into Dating
Being a single mom is undeniably hard work, but throw dating into the mix, and it can become overwhelming. However, stepping back into the dating scene may not be a bad thing, if you prepare yourself ahead of time (which may include prepping your child(ren) depending on the age, decide on a dating style & platform, and your preferences when seeking dates.
3 Ways to Step Back Into Dating as a Single Mom
Before you jump back into seeking Mr. Right, you should make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Do you want to start dating or does your family and friends think it would be a good idea? A lot of times, single moms enter back into the dating world only because they think it’s what they “should be doing”, but they aren’t actually ready to date.
When that happens, it’s nothing but trouble along the way. You bring whatever baggage you haven’t dealt with into each potential relationship, essentially ruining any chances at a real future with a great guy.
Before You Can Step Into Dating, There’s a Process
A. Prep, Prep, and Prep Again
Are you ready to start dating? Do you have the time to devote into seeking out a mate, or mates? If you’ve determined that you’re ready to date because you want to do so, that’s great. It’s still helpful to ask yourself these questions to make sure you want to date for the right reasons.
- Are you comfortable being around a man who’s interested in you?
- Why haven’t you dated until now?
- What type of man do you envision yourself partnered with?
- Do you want to casually date or are you dating to marry? Maybe you’re somewhere in the middle of the two
- What are your deal-breakers?
- Are you comfortable having a man pick you up from home?
- How close are you willing to allow a man to get to you?
- Are you ready to be physically intimate with a man?
- Are you comfortable telling a man you have kids on the first date?
- Are you able to trust a man?
- Is your heart free?
As you’re asking yourself these questions, and answering, you may discover some hidden truths. Some of these questions may seem simple, but there’s meaning behind each one.
- Do you feel like you are your best self?
- Is grooming needed?
- Should you update your dating wardrobe? Little black dress found here! Clicking this link will open up a new window to the Amazon.com site
You may not want to admit it, but you know you want to look and feel good on your dates. You want to make sure you feel as if you’re appearance is at a high level which helps with confidence.
No one wants “gorilla pits” (hairy armpits) while wearing a sleeveless dress…am I right? Buy a razor and shave – you will feel better. Now, if you choose to go au naturale, cool; for the single moms who prefer clean-shaven but gave up due to having kids, put your razors to work.
But really, grooming is such a big part because it helps you to feel like you are ready to go out into the world, and get through your date.
B. Communicate with the Kiddos
This one is completely up to you but it’s important to think about when in the process of stepping back into the dating scene.
Whether you want to admit it or not, you’re child(ren) could feel the repercussions of you dating and it not working out. So, how do you avoid it?
Don’t tell them!
Yup, you read it right. I recommend you wait to tell your child(ren) that you are dating until a firm commitment is in place. Why worry the kiddies if you know a relationship isn’t going to work out? This is especially true if you’ve decided to casually date.
If you’ve decided to casually date, I’d suggest you avoid bringing men into your home. Your home is also you’re family’s space; it’s sacred.
You’ll need to become creative if you decide to take this route; keep that in mind.
If you decide to have this discussion with your child(ren), be sure to listen to their response. Be ready to agree or disagree with their stance. Are you willing to move forward with dating if your kids aren’t on board?
So, we’ve talked about the basics of getting yourself prepped to get back out there in the dating world. Now, let’s discuss the 3 ways to step back into dating as a single mom.
- Online Dating Sites / Mobile Apps
- Blind Dates/Set-Up via Friends
- Just Let it Happen
Online Dating Sites / Mobile Apps
Sites like OkCupid, Match, or Eharmony are all popular dating sites. There are also a slew of dating mobile apps where swiping right and left have become the norm for “finding love.” If you’ve been away from the dating scene for a while, you may want to research some of the different sites and apps before signing up or downloading the app to your cell phone.
I always tell my friends that online dating is only different because people are more bold. If you choose online dating as a way of meeting men, be prepared to meet the worst of the worst, before you find your match.
I would to suggest putting the fact that you’re a mom on your profile. This is a benefit to you and the men searching for “love.” Both sides are able to quickly weed out the deal-breakers.
Blind Dates/Set-ups via Friends
Before there were many dating sites and apps available, people were usually set-up on dates by their friends or family. It usually went something like: “Hey, I think you’d like my friend Trevor.” “Do you mind if I give him your number?” You receive a call from Trevor a couple of days later, if not the same day, and a date would be scheduled.
And that was it.
If you’d prefer to take this route as a way to step back into dating, it could work a bit better than online dating. This is because your friend will have some knowledge of the person they are setting you up with. Be careful because if you ask the wrong “friend,” you could yourself set up on a date with a dud.
I once a had a “friend” try to set me up with her cousin. I quickly found out, no thanks to her, that he was married. I felt all types of emotions but I couldn’t understand why she would think that was okay.
If you have people in your life that have no moral compass, it’ll be best to steer clear of their dating suggestions and set-ups.
Just Let it Happen
This seems pretty simple…but is it? In order to date by just letting it happen, you have to leave your home. You have to go out and be places where there are people to meet people. Try the supermarkets, farmers markets, parks, walking trails, restaurants, happy hours, book stores, interest clubs, etc. if you want to meet a potential match.
Visit the places that you like and if you meet someone at one of those places, it’s likely you’ll at least have that in common. I would caution against meeting someone at your favorite bookstore, or something similar, because if it goes sour (like really sour) you risk losing your favorite place.
It’s okay to take this path to step into dating. There’s no need to rush yourself.
If you have conquered the steps on figuring out if you are mentally and physically prepared to date, ready to communicate or keep a little secret from your child(ren) about dating, and ready to throw yourself afloat on the love boat, then please step back into the dating hot mama!
Readers, let me know your thoughts on dating as a single mom. If you like, be sure to share this post with your friends!
➡ This post has an affiliate link. You don’t pay any extra and I earn a small commission.