Updated January 2018
Over a year ago, I realized that I truly was not happy with my life. I wasn’t depressed or anything but I wasn’t happy. My job wasn’t the type of job I envisioned for myself, but what could I do? I had to work to provide a stable life for my children.
I felt like I was stuck. My purpose, I felt, was lost.
I remember watching a movie and that movie suddenly reminded me of what I loved. It reminded me of my youth and of a time when I allowed fear to keep me from moving forward. Realizing all of this, I also remembered that I was a woman and not just a mom.
That movie remains as one of my favorites! Sometimes it takes just one thing to remind you of who you were and who you want to be.
Feelings of Having no Support
Upon the birth of my first child, I knew absolutely nothing. My emotions were all over the place but the emotion that had taken hold of my spirit was fear.
I was young, slightly (maybe not so slightly) selfish, and unprepared for what was to come with my impending new life as a mother. So called supporters of of my impending motherhood talked a great game, but really they just talked negatively behind my back.
The one thing I’ve always felt I lacked was support. Now, I’m not saying I haven’t met some awesome people along the way because I have. I’ve met some people who I may not see everyday but I love and respect them all the same, because I know at their core, they genuinely cared for me and my family’s well-being.
When the chips are down and you want someone you can turn to, it’s great to feel like you have that. Unfortunately, I did not. Sometimes, I wanted someone to simply vent my frustrations to but I always feared I’d be judged. Holding frustrations in like that can take a toll on your mind and body.
However, through years of many blunders and blindly getting through motherhood, which included a lot of broken trust, failed relationships, and instability, came clarity.
Through clarity, I learned forgiveness, selflessness, love, and most importantly, how to be a better mother to my children. Ultimately and thankfully, I learned how to be self-sufficient and what a feeling that is.
Realizing my True Purpose
Or a very important one
I stopped worrying about having a support system because I had become a support system to three young and very creative human beings. Knowing that I was the catalyst to my children becoming great people in this world so it was time to let go of what I didn’t have, and place my energy in shaping their minds for greatness.
As I thought more and more on my past, however, I wondered what I could do in my present and future to help others like myself. I realized that it is quite possible that my voice.
My story is my story and I don’t expect anyone’s to be the same. However, a struggle is a struggle and a community of single moms, we should support each other.
I think what has happened is that somewhere along the line, a lot of people have forgotten that in some way, shape, or form, we are all connected. That is my belief. A single mothers, we are raising the next generation, but we are doing it alone, with limited to no support of the other parent.
Support and encouragement: Two of the main reasons I’m blogging today. Join me on Facebook at the Facebook Page for Buried Under Weight for community interaction!